Tributes
Sam with his aunt Kathleen, Paris, 2013. Photo: Georgia O'Keefe
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Kathleen and Sam, Florida, 2007. Photo: JB
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"She packed light, and danced her way through life even when there was no music."
My Aunt Kathleen
by Sam O'Keefe
December 1, 2014
by Sam O'Keefe
December 1, 2014
My aunt was special. Gifted, poised, beautiful, smart, energetic, passionate, generous, and most of all, loving, she had a way of lifting everyone’s spirits wherever and whenever. Her sweet, kind voice, so comforting and gentle, would happily fill our ears and put smiles on our faces. No matter where she was in her worldly adventures, we knew she was always in our hearts, thinking about us, and we her. From California to Cambodia, to the wonders of Africa, and to Paris with my sister and me one amazing July, she saw everything. She had a way of simply connecting to everyone, and her many friends around the world can attest to her abundant empathy.
Though incredibly strong in times of pain and remarkably resilient in struggles that she faced, she lost her 9-month battle with cancer this morning at the age of 54.
Who would have thought that such a wonderful, caring woman who dedicated her life to helping others would get this relentless disease? No matter, her long, hard fight and undeniable persistence in calling triumph over her illness make her the strongest, most admirable person I know. A second mom to me, I can’t imagine life without her.
Knowing my aunt though, she would not want me to be sad for her, and she would tell me to live life like there’s no tomorrow, and that’s what I’m going to do. I am going to take every single bit of life I can get, every second of it, and live it like my aunt lived. I am going to take the fire and anger inside of me and use it to inspire me to do things I didn’t think I could do. I will aspire to be half the human that my aunt was. Most importantly, I am going to live, because that is what she did. She packed light, and danced her way through life even when there was no music. Now, I’m going to dance, and think about her every day for the rest of my life.
Auntie, you are the reason that we go on, for you touched our lives in a way that no one else ever will. Rest in peace my gorgeous angel.
Though incredibly strong in times of pain and remarkably resilient in struggles that she faced, she lost her 9-month battle with cancer this morning at the age of 54.
Who would have thought that such a wonderful, caring woman who dedicated her life to helping others would get this relentless disease? No matter, her long, hard fight and undeniable persistence in calling triumph over her illness make her the strongest, most admirable person I know. A second mom to me, I can’t imagine life without her.
Knowing my aunt though, she would not want me to be sad for her, and she would tell me to live life like there’s no tomorrow, and that’s what I’m going to do. I am going to take every single bit of life I can get, every second of it, and live it like my aunt lived. I am going to take the fire and anger inside of me and use it to inspire me to do things I didn’t think I could do. I will aspire to be half the human that my aunt was. Most importantly, I am going to live, because that is what she did. She packed light, and danced her way through life even when there was no music. Now, I’m going to dance, and think about her every day for the rest of my life.
Auntie, you are the reason that we go on, for you touched our lives in a way that no one else ever will. Rest in peace my gorgeous angel.
Tributes by Former Staff of the Phnom Penh Post
Kathleen O’Keefe with PPP reporters Bou Saroeun, Cheath Sotheacheath & Vong Sokheng.
"Kathleen O’Keefe, you passed away, but the memories we have had with me and other colleagues are constant. "I met Kathleen sometime in 2000 as my boss and just a few months later she became like a close elder sister and living in a big family of the old age Phnom Penh Post. "You are an American that was deep in local tradition and culture and very humanitarian to many people around you and you have taken care of them the most. "You treated staff as members of your family and very kindly. I am about to cry when I see a memorial funny picture with you. "Kathleen, you are in my heart and I wish you to rest in peace. My condolences to all of your family. - Vong Sokheng, Phnom Penh Post reporter (2000- present) "To most people Kathleen was often known as a co-founder of the Phnom Penh Post, but she did more than that.
"She has helped plant the seeds of free press in Cambodia that we all enjoy today. "That is a big legacy she left behind in a country she once called home, and we should never ever forget that legacy. She has touched so many lives here in Cambodia and she will be terribly missed by all of us. Rest in peace, sister!” - Ker Munthit, former Phnom Penh Post reporter (1992-1997) |
"Dear Kathleen, 
Kathleen O'Keefe and Anette Marcher.
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"I was shocked and couldn’t believe it when I heard the news that Kathleen had passed away. How could a young, kind, generous, beautiful lady be there on this world for such a short time like this? It’s unbelievable.
"The first time I met her was at the International House in Phnom Penh while I worked there. She was a regular guest. At the time my English was terrible but Kathleen was one of the customers who realised the difficulties of Cambodians to communicate in English at that time in 1992.
"She spoke slowly and clearly to me so that I almost got all of her words. After a month of knowing her I was offered a job at the Phnom Penh Post.
"Kathleen, a charming, kind and generous lady took care very much for the suffering of Cambodians and tried her best to assist the Cambodian people and nation. She was one of the best American daughters coming to help the Cambodian nation and people towards prosperity, liberty, respect for human rights and of course press freedom.
"Like the Khmer saying, the good people cannot live for too long on this earth, while the bad struggle for too long with their sins. The good people do not deserve to live on this earth but in heaven. I believe Kathleen’s soul has gone to heaven. Please rest in peace."
- Chap Narith, account director/special projects manager, The Phnom Penh Post
"The first time I met her was at the International House in Phnom Penh while I worked there. She was a regular guest. At the time my English was terrible but Kathleen was one of the customers who realised the difficulties of Cambodians to communicate in English at that time in 1992.
"She spoke slowly and clearly to me so that I almost got all of her words. After a month of knowing her I was offered a job at the Phnom Penh Post.
"Kathleen, a charming, kind and generous lady took care very much for the suffering of Cambodians and tried her best to assist the Cambodian people and nation. She was one of the best American daughters coming to help the Cambodian nation and people towards prosperity, liberty, respect for human rights and of course press freedom.
"Like the Khmer saying, the good people cannot live for too long on this earth, while the bad struggle for too long with their sins. The good people do not deserve to live on this earth but in heaven. I believe Kathleen’s soul has gone to heaven. Please rest in peace."
- Chap Narith, account director/special projects manager, The Phnom Penh Post
"Actually, unlike most foreigners, she felt like a Cambodian. Because she understood what Cambodian people needed.
"She built not only professional relationships with us but even social and personal relationships with all the journalists working with her, particularly Cambodian journalists. She was a funny lady and she enjoyed reading funny stories.
"She tried to encourage and she tried to help other Khmer staff including one of our colleagues who had trouble with his family, his wife wanted to divorce him.
"She tried to console him and reconcile the family. It’s funny because she was our boss but she became so close to us so we could ask for anything, even ask her to lend us money."
- Moeun Chhean Nariddh, former Phnom Penh Post reporter (1992-1995)
"She built not only professional relationships with us but even social and personal relationships with all the journalists working with her, particularly Cambodian journalists. She was a funny lady and she enjoyed reading funny stories.
"She tried to encourage and she tried to help other Khmer staff including one of our colleagues who had trouble with his family, his wife wanted to divorce him.
"She tried to console him and reconcile the family. It’s funny because she was our boss but she became so close to us so we could ask for anything, even ask her to lend us money."
- Moeun Chhean Nariddh, former Phnom Penh Post reporter (1992-1995)
"As co-founder of the Phnom Penh Post, Kathleen was heart and soul of one of the best independent newspapers of its kind anywhere. Her values and judgement shone through its pages. As part of an editorial team under her joint management, we dug where we wanted and reported what we found, knowing that we always had her smart and steely support. During her time at the Post she cared very deeply for the paper and what it stood for, and she cared for its staff like a family."
- Matt Grainger, Phnom Penh Post editor 1994-6 and 1998
- Matt Grainger, Phnom Penh Post editor 1994-6 and 1998
"A perennial bright spot in this crazy world"
A tribute to Kathleen by her brother Mark,
read at a memorial service in Massachusetts on her birthday,
February 8, 2015.
read at a memorial service in Massachusetts on her birthday,
February 8, 2015.
Mark O'Keefe with his sister Kathleen (or Kathy, as only her family were allowed to call her) in 1979.
Several
weeks have passed since the sad news of Kathy’s passing. I normally
enjoy writing, especially as a way of processing my thoughts and
emotions, yet, for the first time in a long while, I’ve had an enormous
block. Each time I’ve put pen to paper (or as Kathy would say, fingers
to keyboard), I found myself staring at a blank screen with images of
Kathy leaving me in dreamlike wonder, my eyes damp from all of the “what-should-have-beens”.
Maybe I’ve read too much from her friends and colleagues around the globe who spoke so highly about my sister - her talents; her humanity; her resilience; her strong and endearing commitment to everything she held so dear - the small but mighty girl-wonder. Has the magnitude of her life left me so overwhelmed and lost for words? Or am I intimidated by the many journalists who have written so eloquently in newspapers from New York to Phnom Penh detailing her tireless efforts building a free-press newspaper in an unstable, undemocratic country suffering the legacy of the Khmer Rouge genocide and emerging from two decades of war, torture and famine?
As a child growing up in the US, Kathy was an intelligent student, very artistic, and well-liked by all. She went to elementary school at St. Raphael’s; high school at North Cambridge Catholic; and then onto college at Harvard. In Kathy, one could understand the old adage “the eyes are the windows to the soul”. Hers were crisp, clear, the color ever so slightly changing and adjusting to what was around her. But always, you felt as though they were taking you in. She took it all in, always diverting attention away from herself and like a boomerang, developing the conversation right back to the other person.
By this time, we’ve heard the many stories of selfless acts by this seemingly ordinary woman from the little state of Massachusetts, where the “shot heard ‘round the world” was fired over two centuries ago. In the course of her life, Kathy interwove a tapestry of human relationships, from kings to commoners and everything in between. As my brother put it recently, when she realized she couldn’t change the world, she didn’t stop trying. For Kathy, it wasn’t about throwing money at a problem or creating an enormous organization. Instead, it was simply about doing the right thing, one situation at a time, one person at a time, one life at a time. And every life mattered to her, friend or stranger, wealthy or poor. She was a situational thinker, passionate about advocating for the underdog, the weak, the abused, and the underserved. In her eyes, everyone deserved a chance to shine.
The word dialectic is from ancient Greek. It is a form of argument between two or more people who wish to establish a truth about a matter. While I never talked to Kathy about it, I believe this is how she communicated. Seek out the truth and let it guide your point of view. For as long as I can remember, Kathy always had a way of stirring up a debate. She would start ever so simply, planting a seed, an innocuous question, perhaps. I suspect she found “sport” in it. She seldom gave in to defeat (she got the “stubborn” family gene), but she also would never be one to rub victory in your face. Well, maybe she would with Jason from time to time.
Maybe I’ve read too much from her friends and colleagues around the globe who spoke so highly about my sister - her talents; her humanity; her resilience; her strong and endearing commitment to everything she held so dear - the small but mighty girl-wonder. Has the magnitude of her life left me so overwhelmed and lost for words? Or am I intimidated by the many journalists who have written so eloquently in newspapers from New York to Phnom Penh detailing her tireless efforts building a free-press newspaper in an unstable, undemocratic country suffering the legacy of the Khmer Rouge genocide and emerging from two decades of war, torture and famine?
As a child growing up in the US, Kathy was an intelligent student, very artistic, and well-liked by all. She went to elementary school at St. Raphael’s; high school at North Cambridge Catholic; and then onto college at Harvard. In Kathy, one could understand the old adage “the eyes are the windows to the soul”. Hers were crisp, clear, the color ever so slightly changing and adjusting to what was around her. But always, you felt as though they were taking you in. She took it all in, always diverting attention away from herself and like a boomerang, developing the conversation right back to the other person.
By this time, we’ve heard the many stories of selfless acts by this seemingly ordinary woman from the little state of Massachusetts, where the “shot heard ‘round the world” was fired over two centuries ago. In the course of her life, Kathy interwove a tapestry of human relationships, from kings to commoners and everything in between. As my brother put it recently, when she realized she couldn’t change the world, she didn’t stop trying. For Kathy, it wasn’t about throwing money at a problem or creating an enormous organization. Instead, it was simply about doing the right thing, one situation at a time, one person at a time, one life at a time. And every life mattered to her, friend or stranger, wealthy or poor. She was a situational thinker, passionate about advocating for the underdog, the weak, the abused, and the underserved. In her eyes, everyone deserved a chance to shine.
The word dialectic is from ancient Greek. It is a form of argument between two or more people who wish to establish a truth about a matter. While I never talked to Kathy about it, I believe this is how she communicated. Seek out the truth and let it guide your point of view. For as long as I can remember, Kathy always had a way of stirring up a debate. She would start ever so simply, planting a seed, an innocuous question, perhaps. I suspect she found “sport” in it. She seldom gave in to defeat (she got the “stubborn” family gene), but she also would never be one to rub victory in your face. Well, maybe she would with Jason from time to time.
"I’ll always remember you as maternal, as a true caregiver. I’ll miss all the silliness that you were all about, the stories, the haircuts, the debates, and the unusual gifts from far-away lands." |
Kathy had a love of life. Like her mother, she didn’t walk through life with her head down. She held it high, took a good look around at her surroundings, and took part in life. In her short 54 years, she lived more than many of us will live in one-hundred years. She may have died young, but she didn’t die without living. As her nephew Sam wrote, “She packed light and danced her way through life, even when there was no music”. Kathy’s family was so important and dear to her. And her extended family throughout the world was just as vital to her happiness. When she was home for visits she would talk of the people she and Jason knew, story after story about their lives and cultures. But she would never share with us the many selfless acts of compassion she performed, seemingly on a regular basis. We’ve been blessed during the past several weeks to hear testimony from those who knew her well, witnessed her courage in the face of vulnerability and her perseverance in advocating for others.
She loved to write, edit, build, create, design, and problem-solve. She was a thinker, sometimes an over-thinker. While most of us all too often accept the status quo, Kathy always pushed for alternatives that may not have existed…yet. Kathy also loved to laugh. Her sense of humor was intellectual sarcasm mixed with a bit of Looney-Tunes. Her goal was to brighten your day. But then sometimes she would be far more serious, never hesitating to tackle the difficult issues, emotions, and relationships. And she was stubborn, in case I haven’t mentioned that yet.
It is said that siblings are the first friends in each other’s lives. They are friendships that are so unique in their constitution; stronger when remaining together, but still so delicate and complicated. Kathy meant the world to me, to all of us. She leaves behind so many people she held so dear, too many to mention all by name – family, friends, and of course the love of her life, Jason. The two of them were intertwined so deeply with one another that it was difficult to know where one ended and the other began. Jason’s journey with Kathy began so many years ago and took them to places they did not know existed. Kathy found true love and a lifetime of happiness with Jason; it was the pinnacle of her success.
Kathy, you were a perennial bright spot in this crazy world in which we live. You were never shy about advocating for others and you quietly sacrificed your own personal comforts for complete strangers. I’ll always remember you as maternal, as a true caregiver. I’ll miss all the silliness that you were all about, the stories, the haircuts, the debates, and the unusual gifts from far-away lands (each one given with a story). You are our “shot heard ‘round the world”. You’ll always be loved and remembered, and at the end of the day, that’s the best any one person can do.
She loved to write, edit, build, create, design, and problem-solve. She was a thinker, sometimes an over-thinker. While most of us all too often accept the status quo, Kathy always pushed for alternatives that may not have existed…yet. Kathy also loved to laugh. Her sense of humor was intellectual sarcasm mixed with a bit of Looney-Tunes. Her goal was to brighten your day. But then sometimes she would be far more serious, never hesitating to tackle the difficult issues, emotions, and relationships. And she was stubborn, in case I haven’t mentioned that yet.
It is said that siblings are the first friends in each other’s lives. They are friendships that are so unique in their constitution; stronger when remaining together, but still so delicate and complicated. Kathy meant the world to me, to all of us. She leaves behind so many people she held so dear, too many to mention all by name – family, friends, and of course the love of her life, Jason. The two of them were intertwined so deeply with one another that it was difficult to know where one ended and the other began. Jason’s journey with Kathy began so many years ago and took them to places they did not know existed. Kathy found true love and a lifetime of happiness with Jason; it was the pinnacle of her success.
Kathy, you were a perennial bright spot in this crazy world in which we live. You were never shy about advocating for others and you quietly sacrificed your own personal comforts for complete strangers. I’ll always remember you as maternal, as a true caregiver. I’ll miss all the silliness that you were all about, the stories, the haircuts, the debates, and the unusual gifts from far-away lands (each one given with a story). You are our “shot heard ‘round the world”. You’ll always be loved and remembered, and at the end of the day, that’s the best any one person can do.